Classic Game. Classic Faces. (Getty)
Hooo-eee, football fans, what a weekend! Two instant classic games. One coming-out party for a quarterback (and offense) of the future. And one game that the Pats won.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I should admit that I went 0 of 4 in picking winners this week, and thus, have no clear team to cheer on through the Superbowl. Dean, as a true Seahawks fan, is in a similar predicament. I plan to identify a quote-unquote team (in a lengthy, rambling discourse) later this week. It’s possible that Dean will just wear his Marshawn Lynch jersey in a sullen, drunken rage for the rest of the season. Can’t blame him.
I don’t think I watched a more entertaining, well-played, exciting game this season than the epic tilt that took place Saturday in the Mile High City. The Broncos were electrified by Trindon Holliday, punt returning stud, and Ravens wide receiver Torrey Smith beat the pants off Champ Bailey every chance he got. I was devastated that John Fox coached to not-lose with the greatest living QB under center, but there’s always next year. And although I was cheering for Aaron Rodgers, the chip on his shoulder, and his beautiful blue eyes, Colin Kaepernick was just, just, incredible, torching the Green Bay defense for a record-setting 181 yards ON THE GROUND, threw for another 286, and had four TDs by the end of that long night in Candlestick. Then on Sunday, RUSSELL WILSON and his young Hawks stormed back from a 20-point deficit against Atlanta, just to watch it slip away with a failed ice-the-kicker attempt from their coach. COACHES! BOO!
Also, the Patriots won. Moving on.
PLAY OF THE WEEK
There are so many plays that were amazing over the weekend, so much so that I have no idea where to begin. Like, do I talk about Torrey Smith’s ridiculous 59 yard-touchdown pass. Or his 32-yard touchdown pass. Or Tindon Holliday’s 104-yard kick return. Or his 90-yard punt return for a touchdown. Or Sam Shields’ 52-yard interception return for a touchdown. Or Frank Gore’s 45-yard touchdown. Or Colin Kaepernick’s 18 touchdowns. Well, the moral of the story is THIS WEEKEND WAS FUCKING CRAZY. And enjoyable, minus the last 30 seconds of the Seattle/Atlanta game. But the BEST play of the week was this one. Oh, Golden Tate, I love you. I promise.
TUESDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK: BOOTLEGGER
Dean and I ventured into East Village on Sunday to enjoy the atmosphere, iced tea, and general awesomeness of Bootlegger Bar & Restaurant. I’ll admit, I was hesitant; I’m not a huge fan of 21 year-olds, terrible parking, and dickish behavior, but I’m happy to report I found none of those things here. Bootlegger has this great old-time southern atmosphere, from the menus to the art to the big wooden tables, blended with an urban edge–cheap shots when the #4 Fire Engine roars by, a DJ who spins tunes during the football commercials. Also, street parking was easy. Hurray!
TVs: Tons! Including a projection screen against one wall, banks of tvs above the square bar, and tvs on the walls. Also, there was a great alcove area (filled with Seahawks fans, to Dean’s delight) with a big screen. No bad seats in this house.
Drink: Quality. Iced tea was brewed, strong, served in a glass carafe. Drink specials included $5 Bloody Marys, which were perfect once you added a dash of tabasco, and $4 Dos Equis, served in heavy, handled glass mugs. We drank those. Enough of those that our waitress joked we’d had half the keg. I think she was joking. (She was joking, right??)
Maybe she wasn’t joking.
Food: Oh, it was good. I had the biscuits & gravy, which was served with thick-slab (and they meant SLAB) bacon, eggs, and potatoes. Delicious. Second only to the Small Bar biscuits and gravy west of the…Sierras. Dean loved his enormous breakfast burrito, and honored Halftimes guest Ty enjoyed her burger, served medium rare with an over-medium egg. About $11 for the brunch items, and we didn’t eat again all day. (Maybe that was a mistake?)
Service: Good. Our waitress was friendly and available, the bartenders were good-looking, especially that one guy, and the bussers were attentive.
Crowd: The early-morning crowd was great. 30-something football fans, wearing jerseys. Cute guys in paint-covered hoodies–off the night shift? Downtown dwellers out for a morning brunch. Around 1:00, the crowd shifted–all of a sudden, there was a bouncer, a bathroom attendant, hipster boys with chest tattoos and hipster girls moving in packs, wearing matching knitted beanies. It got crowded quick, and loud quick, and less fun quick.
Recommendation: Come for the morning game! It’s a really fun bar. Did we mention the amazing DJ, spinning old-school rap during the commercial breaks? Did we mention the Old Milwaukee painted ads on the back wall? Great. And leave as soon as the fourth quarter is finished, unless you want to be surrounded by the Gaslamp District’s hangover.
LOVE LETTER TO RUSSELL WILSON
Winners in my book. Winners for the future.
Man, did you kill it last week. I mean, a 20 point deficit?! And after you lost, you said some of the classiest things ever. 99 out of 100 times you would have beaten Atlanta, and even though you know that deep down in your heart, you were looking ahead, to the future, to carry your team to glory next year. And the year after. And the year after that. (Hey, I have high hopes.) Not only that, but you are looking to get ten times better. Ten times better?! On an off-day you already are ten times better than Matt Ryan! Gosh, your motivation is inspiring. It inspires me to want to revise my poems, and it is nearly impossible to motivate/inspire me to revise poems. Like, if I could be the poet version of you, I would have, like, five books published by now. And they would be innovative, and daring, and fresh, and young. I will miss watching you and the Hawks every Sunday, but luckily I have Girls, then Game of Thrones, then True Blood. So really, HBO is the only thing I have until your return. So please, return soon. And when you return, boy will I, and Seattle, be ready.
BAD LIP READING
This is one of the best things ever. Better than ESPN’s review on Monday. #win